Weddings are done in all kinds of places and for all kinds of people, so it is truly special to be in this beautiful Sanctuary once again and to be here on this glorious occasion. Emily and Evan, 30 years ago the prettiest woman I had ever seen and I were married in this very spot , and Dianna and I could have never foreseen on that day that we would be here this day to give our own daughter in holy matrimony. Nor did I ever dream that I would someday be the minister to officiate your vows. I have to confess that it might be tough to get through this, I am your dad first and foremost. But as you know, I am not a crier, I am pretty tough, you have to be in my business. But I also know that seeing my baby girl, who out of nowhere became a beautiful, intelligent and gifted young lady, along with her love and our new son Evan standing here might be the one deal that cracks my armor and slays me. If so, bear with me a minute or two. Or if I have to pause to assist the mother of the Bride.

I have officiated at a number of weddings through the years, in all kinds of places for all kinds of people. Wedding ceremonies are not always the spiritual exercises that are worthy of something this significant. For example, the last wedding I performed a couple of months ago, the bride to be ask me at the rehearsal if I could cut out a couple of the prayers and also the sermon. She then said since she no longer worked at my place of employment, could she still get my services for free? I of course had sacrificed my Friday and Saturday nights, and I would have paid her to get out of the deal. One of my favorite authors. The Rev. William Willimon reminds us that there are all kinds of wedding in all kinds of places and for all kinds of people as he shares the story of Ralph Wade, pastor of the Friendswood Baptist Church in Indiana, who united Denise Golay and David Whitfield in marriage. Ralph went by the book, but Denise and David had other ideas. Willimon tells that their wedding bulletin explained it this way:

As many of you know, Denise has an avid interest in the obedience training of dogs, and David has more than a passing interest in photography. The relationship now shared by the Bride and Groom grew from these two interests. With this in mind they requested the presence of the “Special Guests.” Your cooperation in observing their presence as part of this service is appreciated. Well, you guessed it. After the singing of the theme from Benji (“I Feel Love”) came the “Entrance of Special Guests,” and in walked three of their dogs who strolled down the aisle in canine dignity and took their seats on the front pew. That is not why we left the front pew vacant today, by the way. Willimon said that he had never met Pastor Ralph Wade, but somehow he said, I think I know how he must have felt as he stood there, in his black suit with red carnation boutonniere, Bible in hand, watching the “Entrance of Special Guests.”

Did I mention that I have done weddings in all kinds of places? I remember my very first wedding as a newly ordained minister in 1980 that was held outside in a cow pasture that needed bush hogging. I had my official minister’s wedding manual in tow, I had on my best paisleyed polyester sports coat but I knew things were not going well when it came time for the ceremony and there was a cow right under the beautiful arbor the lucky couple had set up to stand under, and trust me, that cow was not moving. Did I mention all kinds of people? I once officiated a wedding where as soon as the bride said “I do,” a pick up truck full of the groom’s inebriated friends pulled up, snatched the bride and speedily drove off, with her squealing and her mom screaming and her groom steaming. We waited about an hour for her to show back up, but alas, no bride. I finally gave up and left. I never saw either one of them again. I have married people in homes, in office buildings, at hotels, at Pinnacle Mountain State Park, and even in an intensive care unit. I did the service for a nurse, then a week later for her daughter and a year later for her other daughter, and a year later for the first daughter all over again. I have done weddings for patients with only a short time to live, and I have done weddings at the bedside of more than one terminally ill person so they could be there for their daughter or sons wedding. So as you see, I am glad to be here in this special place on this very sacred day, and settings such as this is where I feel at home. For Weddings are rightly more than just ceremony and spectacle, or a legal act, they are an act of worship, and that is in part why we are here today.

It is a sacred day, a day of reverence and respect. Our front row today is reserved in honor of the 13 nuns at Carmel of St. Theresa, who wanted to be here but are cloistered and never leave the monastery. These nuns have watched Emily grow up, as my small congregation, the Providence Baptist Church of Little Rock has rented space from them for years. Sister Bernadette assures me that they at this time are praying fervently for Evan and Emily. It is in that vein that I think it should be noted that today we have a Baptist marrying a Catholic in a Presbyterian church and service. I am not sure that the Wilson’s and the Piechocki’s are a one family ecumenical movement, but I am sure that it is worth noting that what we all have in common as Christians is far more important than what divide us as Christians. And that fact is especially important for you two as you become one and begin your lives together. It will be true in your faith journey as well. And what is it that we have in common as Christians? In a word, it is love. And the lessons of love come from the kind of love that Jesus taught us about. A love that is accepting, a love that puts people before rules; a love that thinks of the other first, a love that is tolerant of differences, a love that loves regardless if it is returned. A love that is forgiving and seeks to reconcile and redeem. This kind of love is not selfish or arrogant, this kind of love isn’t jealous of the other nor is boastful, this kind of love isn’t impulsive or quick tempered. This love doesn’t keep score. This kind of love is sacrificial.

But that is not all. This kind of love also seems impossible. After all, we are only finite human beings with very obvious limitations. We theological types are quick to point out, that there are three Greek words for love – Agape, Phileo, and eros. Eros, is romantic or sensual love, we get our word erotic from it, so you get the point. It is true that it is often superficial, it is a high with diminishing returns, and while it is the easiest to experience, it is the most ethereal and fleeting of the types of love. Phileo of course is love for our brothers and sisters, or a perhaps good friend who is like family. The name of Philadelphia, known as the city of brotherly love, is in part an anglicized rendering of phileo. And we minister types are quick to point out that Agape is God’s type of love for us. So much so that the first epistle of John declares that God is love, a nominative appositive, which just simply means the words are redundant. God-Love, love-God, they are the same. And after this explanation we ministers usually get to the point in the service where we should say that the romantic kind of love is shallow and temporary and that you should strive to build your marriage on Agape love, for that is where the staying power of a relationship comes into play.

You see Evan and Emily, I am not just a preacher up here, I am your father, and it is OK for all these others in this room to listen to my words if they want to, but I am speaking to you so here is the truth- your relationship has to have to have all three kinds of love. I am not a Greek scholar, but this I know: however these types of love are different is inconsequential compared to how they are the same. And again, what they have in common is far more important than how they are different. And often the boundaries are blurred anyway and these loves lose their distinctiveness. Sometimes we think we love one way, and we cannot in totality differentiate that it is really another kind of love. Love is love, and agape has more in common with eros which has more in common with phileo than we often recognize. And maybe marriages fail because they lack one or more of the three. You see, I don’t believe that agape is enough either if that is all you’ve got. In part because you will find that you are still a member of the human race, that you will be selfish at times, that you will not be very forgiving at times, that you will break some of the promises some of the time, that you will have moments of immaturity no matter how old you are or how long you have been married. You will at times be so shallowly controlled by your egos that you will make Sigmund Freud look like the smartest man on earth. And I will tell you something else, you will make mistakes. Guaranteed. You also need to know that the feeling of the high that is your love right now will evolve into something else over time. It is true of everyone in this room who is in or has been in a serious relationship. But it certainly can and should evolve into something better, something more real, something deeper than what you imagine on this day. Your mother and I could not have envisioned our love for each other now 30 years ago. I thought she was cute and she thought I was smart and handsome– no that’s not it, she thought I was funny. She who was the prettiest girl I had ever seen has become the most amazing woman I have ever seen of as the years have added layers to our relationship that I never thought possible.

I have indeed married all kind of folk and this I also know to be true of every single couple I have ever married, and was true in this building 30 years ago. You don’t have to be perfect to get married. No one is. You don’t have to be totally well adjusted or pass the minister’s pre-marital counseling courses and personality tests. You don’t have to check your all of your needs, desires and wants that go along with your humanity at the alter either. And I might stand alone in this, but you really don’t even have to know what all you are getting into, I am telling you right now that no one in this room knew everything that they were getting into when they got married, I challenge anyone to state otherwise. If nothing else, marriage is a great adventure. But I wholeheartedly believe that you must always strive for love. Always. For eros, for phileo and for agape. Each one will be necessary for you to prosper and for your relationship to deepen. Each one gives a significance that can withstand everything in life that would otherwise devalue us. And I am not going to stand here like others you may have heard and say that love is simply not enough, there has to be more than love in any relationship. I am instead going to boldly say Amor Omnia Vincit, that true love conquers all. At least the right kind of love.

Today we are in a special dignified place, nothing at all like those weddings I mentioned earlier that I had heard about or had been a part of. And you are two special people whose love I have witnessed firsthand. But a little later on this evening the tone will change and we will be reveling to a disc jockey named “Hollywood.” We will dance, and eat heartily, and seeing a Baptist Preacher do the “polka” with our new polish catholic in-laws should be worth the price of admission alone. But we will laugh, we will cry, we will be foolish and we will tease and we will toast. We will take a bunch of pictures. But we will do something else: We will love. And you will too. No wonder Jesus began his ministry at a wedding in Cana of Galilee, there is no more perfect metaphor for what he would be about on earth– Love– that is it. I also believe that simple message was the message of Jesus Christ, period. He was about first and foremost about love, and we lose track of that in our divisive differences as institutionalized religious folk as we major on minutia and ignore the obvious. And while this moment in time will be over all too quickly, his presence at this wedding celebration today and his presence in your lives will give this brief moment nothing less than eternal significance.

You see, Jesus loves us and we don’t have to be perfect. No one is. Jesus loves us, we don’t have to pass the minister’s test or a personality test. Jesus loves us and we don’t have to check our humanity at the alter, and when we love Jesus we don’t even have to know what we are getting into. Because that is what God’s kind of love is all about. And whatever else you can say about that you can say this: That come what may, his love for us remains. That is why these unions are of divine consequence. That is the factor that trumps everything else. That kind of love is indeed enough. Evan and Emily, grow that kind of Love. If you don’t know where to look for it, look to Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of our faith, whose sacrificial love is life giving. And whose love is something else– it is the key to relationships, to all relationships. No wonder they call it the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Thanks be to God! Amen.